Break Up With Yourself

From Monday until this very hour I was anxious to exceed the expectations of TBBS Relationship serious. Many from different ages, ethnicity, and journeys with God attended. Even the two that conducted, Dustin Pestlin, and Jessica Tandy, I thought I picked with specifics, but as the night matured, the crowed grew, I realized God had plans far before this even was created in the back seat of Lex’s car. Dustin, a prestigious church leader, so humble, he finds the title, “Pastor” tremendous; and Jessica Tandy, a church worship leader, and coordinator, full of wonder and character, are single Christians. Often confused for courting Jessica due to them organizing the White Rock Lake SDA Church together, Dustin tastes for women are often kept an enigma. Yet Jessica is a wild card, who seeks for compatibility to her anomalous, and creative characteristics. A wild card, drawn promptly as I thought to ask them to pair as conductors of Part 1 of TBBS’s Relationships journeys that latter-day Christians encounter.

Dustin gave women great and obtainable expectations of idealistic Christian men. A good man is obedient to his elders, patient, and understands, “It's always in our best interest to wait for God. Sometimes we look to date people that are all show and no go; look for a person who strive to make God's value as priority.”

The audience was very quiet, and receptive. I wondered if it was due to the way he humbly demanded everyone’s attention. Such obedience was expected and surrendered to receive instruction. Like children, hungry, we wanted truth, and through him, God fed us how to attract each other. I thought, “Is this also a reflection of you Heavenly Father?” Every woman wants the leadership characteristic in her husband. Soon enough, my attention was collected by one of our church elders, Marylin,

“Pray to God for specific answers revealing His will regarding your ideal companion.” Dustin countered her suggestion with a warning, “But please women, it is dangerous to think a woman can change a man. We are leaders.”

The audience begin to open, and one of our young married couples, and also male and female lead singer and pianist in the choir, decided to pay contribute to the lesson at hand.

“Before marrying Doraine, I dated a beautiful woman,”

Some of us giggled whispering, “Tread softly Sky”.

“… but her relationship with God was not as equally yoked as mines. Then I met Doraine and realized the simplicity of an equally yoked relationship. Everything was easier”

Laughter filled the room. The ice was broken, and the sermon became a discussion; I smiled. Dustin took hold of our attention again when he said, “God’s sanction is not given to unions that He has forbids. Those who are ruled by passionate impulse will have bitter lives to reap, and even possibly bitter after lives. The path to eternal life is steep and rugged. Take no extra eternal weight to make it harder. Issac and Rebakah exposed the importance of putting God's vision above our own. Boaz and Ruth were very hard working & obedient. Both of them really trusted God in their relationship while single and married. The steps that they took were very decent. You must surrender to God, and die to self, but it will prove to be in your best interests."

As Dustin ended, Jessica sang and we all joined, "Happy Birthday to you". A surprise that melted Dustin and many new participants' hearts. Although it was Dustin's birthday, we denied all acknowledgements until TBBS, hoping to invigorate even more excitement and appreciation. While cutting the cake, Dustin left, and I prepared the audience for the big discussion. Not realizing, a small yet iconic dictation was being proven in my own actions.

"We all have been waiting and anticipating the discussion of Christian singles in our church, in our groups, and even in ourselves. Here we are, please see this portion as a discussion, and ask only should the married tread softly. We are closing the bridge of myths, and fears of rejection. Lead by Jessica, is the women's experience as a single Christian,

and monitored by Danny, to put out any fires too hot for the kitchen."

The audience laughed, and even a "OOOHWOOO" echoed.

Jessica demanded the room as she recited a poem, setting the tone of modesty, and humbleness.

Dear God, I cannot love Thee the way I want to. You are the slim crescent of a moon that I see and my self is the earth’s shadow that keeps me from seeing all the moon. The crescent is very beautiful and perhaps that is all one like I am should or could see; but what I am afraid of, dear God, is that my self shadow will grow so large that it blocks the whole moon, and that I will judge myself by the shadow that is nothing. I want very much to succeed in the world with what I want to do. I have prayed to You about this with my mind and my nerves on it and strung my nerves into a tension over it and said, “oh God, please,” and “I must,” and “please, please.” I have not asked You, I feel, in the right way. Let me henceforth ask You with resignation—that not being or meant to be a slacking up in prayer but a less frenzied kind, realizing that the frenzy is caused by an eagerness for what I want and not a spiritual trust. I do not wish to presume. I want to love.

Oh God please make my mind clear. Please make it clean. I ask You for a greater love for You.

Please help me to get down under things and find where You are. ~ My Dear God, A young writer’s prayers, By Flannery O’Connor

She then asked, "In that poem where do we see our selves?"

A single mother, mature in age, yet young and fair in beauty responded, "We're in our own way of loving God."

The room was silent. Yaddi's words penetrated hearts and even the most secured in Christ fell short and humbled. Jessica continues, "God created us in His image. Please someone read Genesis 1:26-28"

Yaddi read, " 26 And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth. 27 So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them. 28 And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth."

Jessica then said, "God proclaimed the purpose of woman and man before he molded us. Then He created us, male and female. God created us for each other as well, Genesis 2:21-25

Miguel read scripture Genesis 2:21-25, "21 And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; 22 And the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. 23 And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. 24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. 25 And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed."

Jessica then adds, "This is the relational aspect of man and woman." Joining us is one of our remarkable elders, and also Jessica's dad, Mr. Steve Tandy. He added, "He followed the complimentary roles of man and woman."

Jessica asked, "How intimate is that? Being apart of Adam's flesh, there is a deep intimacy is it not? Did God create a specific person for us?"

Phil, a new participate and man of God, "Like soulmates?"

Zuny, a beautiful and passionate follower of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, replied "Maybe not a specific person, God gave us free will. Dustin was reading about the instructions Abraham gave to his servant to find a wife for his son. Maybe God has specifics for His ideal person for us."

The walls echoed, the discussion was opened and accepting. Josiah, our young scripture enthusiast commented, "There are no surprises to God in regards to our choices. But He will guide you, and in your obedience, God will still get all the glory." In awe, it was silent again. Jessica took this silence as an entrance to distinguish ourselves. "So lets diagnosis ourselves, Jeremiah 17:9, "1 The sin of Judah is written with a pen of iron, and with the point of a diamond: it is graven upon the table of their heart, and upon the horns of your altars"; 1 John 1:8 "If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us", and Roman 3:23 "For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God;"

Jessica continued, "It's a process of your mind, what you think, whats in your heart, and your actions. Our hearts are deceitful, only God knows it, and can change it. We have to break up with ourselves. But How? Please turn to Ephesians 4:22-24, "22 That ye put off concerning the former conversation the old man, which is corrupt according to the deceitful lusts; 23 And be renewed in the spirit of your mind; 24 And that ye put on the new man, which after God is created in righteousness and true holiness."

"We must put off the old self, and be renewed in the sense of our minds. Put on the new man/woman that choose to surrender to God. The will of God and mind, there's a theme of renewing our mind in all of these scriptures. Is it easy to die to self?"

Phil answered hastily, yet in all truth, "It gets easier over time. As you build your relationship with God, the sacrifice is compensated by His covenant." His response was heavy on hearts, impacting all who had ears and heard. Jessica softly asked, "Is it worth it?" We all shook our heads in agreement and she asked us turn in our bibles to Roman 6:8-14, "8 Now if we be dead with Christ, we believe that we shall also live with him: 9 Knowing that Christ being raised from the dead dieth no more; death hath no more dominion over him. 10 For in that he died, he died unto sin once: but in that he liveth, he liveth unto God. 11 Likewise reckon ye also yourselves to be dead indeed unto sin, but alive unto God through Jesus Christ our Lord. 12 Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, that ye should obey it in the lusts thereof. 13 Neither yield ye your members as instruments of unrighteousness unto sin: but yield yourselves unto God, as those that are alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness unto God. 14 For sin shall not have dominion over you: for ye are not under the law, but under grace." Jessica insisted, "Sin doesn't have dominion over you anymore, that's why He's worth it. No Man Is An Island, written by John Donne, quoted Thomas Merton, "It is therefore of supreme importance that we consent to live not for ourselves but for others. When we do this we will be able first of all to face and accept our own limitations. As long as we secretly adore ourselves, our own deficiencies will remain to torture us with an apparent defilement. But if we live for others, we will gradually discover that no expects us to be 'as gods'."

There was more, and I know God was with us because there was abundance of more in scriptures and questions. But there's not enough memory, server, and time. Join us next Taco Bar Bible Study, as we explore Proverbs & Song of Solomon, written by Solomon, Son of David, King of Israel in the Spirit of our Heavenly Father.